Let’s Get Real About Pregnancy & Work.

Let’s get real about pregnancy and work.

If you have an employer, you may not want to say some of this out loud, so I’ll do it for us.

Over the next few months, I’m going to take you on the journey with me as I venture into maternity leave for the second and final time and share what it’s really like.

I’m self-employed so being pregnant is on my terms and at my cost. The only person I’m trying to appease with my performance, is myself.

WELCOME TO THE FIRST TRIMESTER!

Apparently, I don’t do pregnancy and work in conventional ways.

Remember that time I wrote about making myself redundant whilst pregnant?!

Well, here we are again only this time I’m self-employed.

After more than a decade working (hard) in corporate, it feels a bit unjust to not have the benefit of more than the governments Maternity Allowance.

However, to look at it another way, I can use my experience to spread the word so that employers understand the real challenges women face and hopefully provide better support for those in all walks of work.

Being pregnant is hard. This isn’t news, it’s just a fact.

I won’t even go into how having a toddler adds to the mix!

In the first trimester you’ve never felt tiredness and deep fatigue like it. I’ve worked 18-hour shifts on my feet and I’ve stayed up for 36 hours before and this is another level.

Never mind adding in morning sickness to varying degrees and other delightful, lesser-known symptoms. I feel lucky it was just tiredness, eczema and nausea for me!

Getting through the day and working therefore, is like wading through treacle. An almighty effort.

You want to get things done. You want to be participative. You want to achieve. My to-do list is crying out at me!

Let me tell you, the will is there but oh my goodness, my body wants to lie down.

It’s frustrating and some days, upsetting. It’s different for everyone but in my experience, your mind and body are wanting to achieve very opposite things.

So how did I get through?

With flexibility.

Hello to being my own boss.

“Is it ok if I have a mid-morning nap to re-fuel?”

Of course it is!

With realistic expectations.

This is not the time to be overloading the work.

“Can I scale back my workload so that I can do a great job for my current clients without taking on more than I can deliver?”

What a good idea. Let’s keep communicating about your workload and what’s achievable.

With understanding.

I feel so guilty for not making the most of the hours in the day.

“Can I catch up on work when I have a renewed sense of energy in the evening?”

Yes, if that’s what works for you but don’t overdo it.

With kindness.

I know this won’t last forever but sometimes it feels like it will. I’m also worried almost constantly that something might go wrong.

“At this moment in time, work is a factor in your life but not your number 1 priority.”

Do you know what your body is currently doing non-stop while you try and continue living your same life?

Your hormones are surging.

Your blood volume has increased.

Your heart is pumping faster to support your developing baby who grows more in this trimester than at any other time in pregnancy.

Woah, when you put it like that...

My boss is great (definite self-employment perk…) but it still doesn’t stop the guilt of not being able to give the 110% that I’m used to.

So what can you do?

As an employer or leader, you likely won’t know that your people are going through this until they’re already facing the challenges well into the first trimester.

They might fear being judged for feeling tired and less productive.

The more supportive an environment, the earlier they may feel comfortable to share and seek your help to set up a plan that works for employee and employer.

In a world that unfairly judges and treats pregnant people, be the employer that genuinely cares and understands the gravity of growing a human.